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Klavan On The Culture

My Pet Peeve: Sweet Music, Stupid Words

May 30th, 2014 - 8:31 am

Here’s an oldie: The Rainbow Connection. Another pretty tune. And by one of my favorite singers too – Kermit the Frog:

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“Rainbows have nothing to hide?” Does that even mean anything? Seriously, isn’t that one of those trick sentences where the syntax works but the actual words are completely meaningless? Like “The house stutters on the global interface.”  I mean, what would a rainbow be hiding? Addiction? A relationship with another rainbow of the same sex? Not that there’d be anything wrong with that. After all… he’s a freaking rainbow!!!

Then there’s this: “Who said that every wish would be heard and answered when wished on the morning star? Somebody thought of that and someone believed it. Look what it’s done so far.”

Hanh? Makes me feel like I’ve been buttonholed by a maudlin drunk in a rundown bar at three in the morning. “Hey, buddy, lemme ashk you a question… Who… who shed that every wish would be heard and anshered….  wait a minute…  what wash I talking about?” Maybe you’ve had enough, Kermit. Time to go home.

All right, I’m glad I’ve gotten that off my chest! If you have any more examples of this deadly phenomenon, let me know. If I’m going to keep a pet peeve, it might as well be a big one.

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All Comments   (20)
All Comments   (20)
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Don Henley's End of Innocence is a beautiful song. But my goodness, when he goes off on Ronald Reagan ("this tired old man we've elected king"), I just cringe. It seems Henley feared that Reagan would blow up the world. I wonder if he learned anything from that mistake.
28 weeks ago
28 weeks ago Link To Comment
So many of the songs listed certainly have stupid lyrics but the only reason I would not have suggested them is because Andrew's criteria was that the melody was good while the lyrics were bad. I don't think the melody is all that great for these songs either.
29 weeks ago
29 weeks ago Link To Comment
Most country music - My brain can't handle the dichotomy of blues lyrics to upbeat music.
29 weeks ago
29 weeks ago Link To Comment
Plus ca change, folks. It's just as bad with opera. Ignorance in not only bliss but the wisest course. Just enjoy the sound.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PYt2HlBuyI

And this is much better than most, lyricswise.
29 weeks ago
29 weeks ago Link To Comment
Another all time great from the Beatles "A love like ours/ could never die/ as long as i/ have you near me...
29 weeks ago
29 weeks ago Link To Comment
To paraphrase Penn Jillette: Why are there so many songs about rainbows? -Name 4
29 weeks ago
29 weeks ago Link To Comment
I concur with "The Greatest Love of All", and while we're dishing on the departed diva I will mention "Saving All My Love For You", a song sung from the perspective of "the other woman" awaiting her adulterous lover's arrival.

Janet Jackson's "What Have You Done For Me Lately?", a song that could be a "See also" reference accompanying the dictionary definition of "selfish".

Bob Marley's (and later Eric Clapton) "I Shot The Sheriff". Well, at least he didn't shoot the deputy. I still remember Paul Harvey lamenting that the song had reached number one on the Billboard pop chart.

29 weeks ago
29 weeks ago Link To Comment
"The Way it Is", by Bruce Hornsby and The Range.
29 weeks ago
29 weeks ago Link To Comment
Musically, I really like many songs by the band Seether, but the lyrics are sophomoric drivel. Case in point - http://youtu.be/BDKM181eTsM

Tip of the day: If you have to tell her you are so much more than meets the eye...um... no, you probably aren't.

Another example - the music totally rocks, but the lyrics are utterly repulsive, and worthy of an aspiring sex offender: http://youtu.be/o9JXMnXnAxc
29 weeks ago
29 weeks ago Link To Comment
What about Celine Dion's "It's All Coming Back To Me Now"? Gorgeous song, gives me goosebumps, etc... but what about this line:

There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than all your laws allow

So, apart from being gross and telling me way more than I want to know about how Celine Dion spends her nights, what on earth was she doing that was more than all your laws allow? Our laws are pretty live-and-let-live in this department, what was it that she was doing??
29 weeks ago
29 weeks ago Link To Comment
Probably a reference to the age difference between her and her geriatric, cradle-robbing husband... ;-)
29 weeks ago
29 weeks ago Link To Comment
LOL that's absolutely right, you figured it out!
29 weeks ago
29 weeks ago Link To Comment
I just realized - this song much also be about heroin! Endless pleasure, more than all your laws allow ... am I right?
29 weeks ago
29 weeks ago Link To Comment
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