The Tyranny of Hip
I believe one reason is the Tyranny of Hip: the unwillingness of grownups to be thought of as uncool. We seem to have a horror of shedding the mantles of the heroes of romance in order to take on the roles of the crusty but wise chaperones. Even when Red State’s Erick Erickson and cultural blogger Dr. Melissa Clouthier among others courageously grasped the nettle recently and took the girls and boys of CPAC to task for dressing like hookers and acting like johns, they were at pains to explain that they were talking about time and place appropriateness not morals — which still didn’t protect them from the usual hail of superior-sounding irony that followed.
No one wants to be the butt of the cool kids’ jokes like that. No critic who values his relevance wants to point out that Bridesmaids soiling themselves while in wedding regalia is not really funny; or that Katy Perry’s hummable hit tunes peddling alcohol abuse and cheap sex to 12-year-olds are reprehensible; or that Sacha Baron Cohen mocking ordinary people for their non-ironic faith, manners or dedication can be at once hilarious and morally wrong — like laughing at a slapstick accident that leaves someone dead. No one wants to turn into the old man waving his cane from the porch rocking chair shouting at the young folks to stop all their goldarned canoodling and quit parading around with their hoo-has and what-nots hanging out, for the love of Mike.
And yet the nation hungers for just such behavior. Witness the recent YouTube video of a father punishing his spoiled daughter for a snarky Facebook post by plugging her laptop with a .45. The thing went viral to the tune of tens of millions of viewers. Why? Because it was wonderful to see someone finally step up and be Daddy.
Being Daddy, no matter what people say, is not primarily a matter of telling people what not to do, nor is it a matter, in my opinion, of scaring them with the consequences of poor behavior. Family leaders rather model, proclaim and support the way people behave when they treat themselves like people instead of meat puppets: i.e. when they make their flesh serve their dignity, love and joy, which sometimes means delaying and even denying more immediate and strictly physical pleasures.
Only (by which I mean only) this essentially spiritual approach to life supports self-governance and justifies liberty. That, if no other reason, is why it’s the responsibility of American grown-ups to teach it to the young. No one wants to be uncool, but the end result of the Tyranny of Hip is tyranny.
No one wants to be uncool, but the end result of the Tyranny of Hip is tyranny.
Of course, under Obamacare, we will not only have tyranny and the Tyranny of Hip, but tyranny over who gets hip replacements.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA – hip post!
Hip hip hooray
Not just the Tyranny of Hip. We suffer under the Tyranny of Youth. I guess they might be aspects of a single tyranny. We worship youth – the lack of responsibility, the liberty to experiment with our lives, the feeling of being indestructable and immortal, the freedom to do “outrageous” things with few or no consequences. In our culture, being successful means having the ability to prolong adolescence as long as we like – to party forever and never have to worry about paying the bill. Some people achieve this through their own efforts. Others take a shortcut, arranging their lives so that somebody else pays for their extended youth.
Unfortunately, along with worship of adolescence comes the Tyranny of Hip. This type of behavior is common in high school, where it really matters who’s cool and who’s not. History doesn’t matter. Tradition is irrelevant. What counts is NOW, intensely. How you dress, what music you listen to, what group you hang out with, whatever determines how successful you are as a socializing adolescent. Some people develop enough self-respect (or loathing of their fellow adolescents) that they grow out of this need to pander to others. Others never get over it – they’ll keep an ear out for the buzz, follow any trend in order to avoid the ultimate ego-smashing label, “Loser.”
I guess it’s a two-edged sword. It depends on how you define “Hip.” Evidently, to some people “Hip” is being a married, college-educated, born-again Christian with a career. To others, it’s having all the sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll you can tolerate while popping out illegitimate children for the State to take care of. With, of course, a wide range of lifestyle choices between those two extremes. The Tyranny of Youth, unfortunately, ensures that our culture values and celebrates the latter while ridiculing and undermining the former.
Sex,drugs,and Rock and Roll is just tired old hat. They do realize that it just used to be called “Wine, Women, and Song”.
The tyranny of youth means the tyranny of adolescent rebelliousness, that often takes the form of romanticism, primitivism, Gnosticism, and other forms of escape. Take the example of Whitney Houston, who will never grow old, and whose father’s name has been absent in the vast media coverage. I wrote about these matters here, and it should please PJ Media readers: http://clarespark.com/2012/02/13/whitneys-spectacular-demise/.
People will be as good as they believe they have to be and as bad as they think they can get away with. You can equate “grown-up” or “responsible” or “decent” for “good”, but this cliche comes as closer to summing up human behavior in one sentence as anything I’ve seen. What Murray doesn’t say is that there’s a major disconnect between ‘upper classes’ in the US and the people who influence public opinion (Hollywood, major-media, and higher-level education). Regardless of their annual income, the opinion-makers are hostile to every form of normality in human society. The fact is, that taking any action to remove these influences, as harmful as they are, has been ruled out by the spin put on mid-Twentieth-Century history, and so it’s every man for himself trying to raise non-feral children. If you’re mobile, Iceland looks good.
The pop ups are not tolerable.
A shame they are so important to you.
Check out DNT and AdBusters if you have Mozilla.
Both work like a charm.
60 is the new 40!! 40 is the new 20? I figured out my adolescence when I went through my mid-life crisis at 45-then I grew up. I can totally relate to the article and comments; but the sex drugs and RnR were pretty awesome too!! I just couldn’t keep up anymore, oh, and I have grand kids.
It is not fear of being uncool. It is fear of growing up. Peter Pan syndrome.
Being an adult means serious responsibility. It means “putting aside childish things”. “Heavy is the head which wears the crown.” Who wants that when there is no glory attached to it?
Adulthood is something which has to be consciously embraced. Unfortunately, today it is something to be feared, rather than something to aspire to. Used to be, boys used to chafe at the bit to become a man. There was real status in it. It came with acceptance and respect from other men, men of fine character. It was a great day to finally be able to sit around the fires with the other warriors, but it came with a serious responsibility, which was embraced.
Now, girls become women, but boys wish to remain children forever. We are not just feminized; We are infantilized. When manhood is respected again, and thus, desired, most of our current problems will fade away.
Girls become women? Bah. Let’s take a look at the television offerings on every channel that are filled with youthful, chiseled ab, young men whom women 20-50 swoon over as they act out romance novels on screen. Many of them are probably sipping cosmopolitans or mojitos, trying their damndest to act like Carrie Bradshaw in the process. As Andrew said, everywhere you look, women are just as obsessed with youth as any extend adolescent male. The attire is a dead giveaway. My 40 year old, duplex neighbor, with the 3 kids she stole from her ex-husband when she ran out on him; who the courts have basically crucified to give her a free ride in life, is always tarted up and on the prowl, regularly parading men, mostly married men, through into her room when she stumbles back from the bar with them at 2am. How do I know this? Her bed posts rest against our adjourning wall. No, my friend, women are no more grown up than men these days.
Your neighbor got a telephone number?!
Do you, uh, happen to have her number handy?
You live next door to my ex-wife?
What you’ve written touches on something I’ve been trying to explain to my girlfriend as of late. She complains that I dress like an old man. I contend that I dress like a grown man. If we’re out looking at clothes and such I tend to gravitate towards attire that would tend to promote me as a successful professional, even if the clothes in question are casual. She thinks I should dress like an older version of a 20-something slacker.
What I was not able to explain to her is that dressing like a grown man is my way of saying that I’m a grown man. It is amazing how accurately a person’s choice of clothing and the other ways they arrange their appearance corresponds with who they really are. I don’t romanticise my teenage years. I’ve no desire to be confused with someone who is not gainfully employed. I do not see my fast approaching 40′s as something to be feared. I dress accordingly.
But then it is different for women. Men gain status with age, women lose it. Youth, or at least its trappings and accoutrements, is something that most women cling to with increasing desperation as they approach middle age.
She’ll get over it eventually.
“But then it is different for women. Men gain status with age, women lose it. Youth, or at least its trappings and accoutrements, is something that most women cling to with increasing desperation as they approach middle age. ”
It’s not so different as you think. The key is that women, even more so than men, DO need to deliberately embrace adulthood. Men tend to age gracefully in a natural way, while with women, it takes a bit of effort. A professional woman very well may gain in professional status as she ages, and she should dress and act as though this is the case, with more intensive self-care (exercise, cosmetics, etc) thrown in. When I was a cute 20-something, I wore hipster clothes and drank cheap beer. Now I can wear sophisticated dresses and drink scotch. Does this make me look younger, or more attractive to men who are just looking for youth? No. Does it make me look more sane, more accepting of my age, and more intelligent? Yes – and that’s attractive to more than a few men.
Women and men who desperately try to appear younger are, by definition, losing the game. They’re missing the point entirely, and it’s very sad to see.
Well, Kimberley, there really aren’t a lot like you. I’ve never met a woman that ordered scotch on her own, though I’ve met some who ordered it because I had. I’ve known a few who’d ostentatiously order whiskey, but most of them were either vagatarian or multiple choice. Every woman I’ve ever known who had the body for it tried to dress like a schoolgirl and all of them had the indiscrete leg-cross, breast thrust, and hair toss down to a fine art. Almost all women are vain, and the pressures on them to look and act like a whore are intense; I understand that, but not many of them resist those pressures but rather embrace them.
All too many of us just don’t age well, and you really don’t get treated very well if you do. I spent a lot of years as a clothes horse because I had jobs that sorta’ expected Brooks’ finest. I don’t have to do that anymore and I make little effort to keep my aging body chiseled; haven’t seen my belt buckle in a few years. So, you go to the fancy restaurant dressed nicely but like an old guy and they give you the table by the kitchen door. You go to buy yourself a pair of gray dress pants in your latest waist size and the little punk making minimum wage and a paltry commission starts to explain to you how the dress pants are “unfinished” and you won’t be able to just walk out with them. I have dress for success down; I lived it, but I have dressed to be comfortable and practical down pretty well now and the status snobs just don’t get it.
Whether you’re male or female society seems to expect you to dress and act like a “playah.” As you get older they don’t seem to get it that you played and won so you don’t have to play anymore.
Some comic said: “Women treat men like buying a house, they buy one and try to fix it up, while men treat women like sports cars, they buy one and watch it depreciate.”
I agree with much of what you say. When I was young (I’m 54), we aspired to grow up to be men. Today, being a man is being subject to ridicule. Watch TV for a couple hours and you’ll see men portrayed as ignorant boobs and brutes. How many responsible men are portrayed in the popular culture?*
There’s also a growing backlash of young men against marriage and I can’t disagree with them. The laws and courts are stacked against men when it comes to divorce. I’ve been married for almost 29 years and should I survive my wife, I’m certain I’ll never remarry. I just have too much to lose and too little to gain.
*The movie “Act of Valor” portrays manhood in a very positive light. Navy SEALS are people not to triffle with.
This is an interesting subject.
For me, I spent 6 weeks flat on my back with a broken back in the hospital and had an epiphany of a sort. I realized that I had been knocking myself out trying to impress this group or that, trying to “fit in” and “be cool” or give the impression of same. It also dawned on my what a crock that was. So I made up my mind that when I returned to high school that I would just concentrate on being myself, and pretty much to hell with everyone else. At least, as much as a 16 year old mind would permit.
It served to both work for me and against me. Being ostracized is never fun but, it also made me stronger and in some ways, an “I’ll show them” mentality worked to my benefit as I went into the military, did well and eventually forgot all about the ridiculous universe of high school.
However, it also made me something of a “political cripple” in that I rarely “went along to get along”. My goals and aspirations and hobbies and time off were spent in pursuits of things I enjoyed, not what other post-pubescent malcontents did, which was spend their paychecks on getting drunk and puking all over the barracks on the weekends.
After my first assignment, I returned to the US with furniture I had bought, a car, many record albums (those black, vinyl things with a hole in the center), some college credits, a very nice stereo, and lots of photos of neat places I had been. In contrast, many of my “peers” returned to the US with a beer gut and their clothes.
In an odd way, that made me feel as though I was winning.
Continuing on, I spent much of my earnings going to night school instead of partying. When I was selected for a commissioning program, my “peers” spoke up with their dissatisfaction with that, as did some of my supervisors who were horrified that I refused to simply stay stuck in a really lousy career field where they were very proud of eating their young, as we used to say.
I simply called it the “blue collar mentality”. Yep, once on the assembly line, you STAY on the assembly line.
I literally pursued the American dream while still inside to confines of the military.
But all the while, I was never accused of being “cool”. Quite the opposite. While in college, I ran into a few other military members like me who actually WERE “cool” only it turns out they cheated at most everything, got themselves connected with the locals prominent people and for me, that was a huge off-putting thing.
I continued to enjoy my hobbies, read books, drive-to-get-away on my free time, etc.
Over time my freedom from being obligated to the “cool kids” has served me very well, especially now. In my profession there are a lot of “cool kids” who, by virtue of their position in the company think they are smarter than me, have more class, are more “sophisticated” than me. That’s fine because they have no idea where I came from, that I have a substantial education, and that I really don’t care to be anything like them and…that if I respect them, it’s not because they are in a higher “station” than me. And that is precious few people. It also has allowed me to very quickly identify crap when I hear it, and there are many in management I simply hold in contempt while I go about my duties.
Clearly, I do not think like they do and I’m sure that would make them chuckle about how “not cool” I am. I just want to do a good job, then go home and forget about where I work. I love what I do for a living, but it is not my life, nor should it be. Our management spends much of its time absent from the building as it is. No doubt they have important “cool” things to do. Actually, they are very much like our current government. Pointing fingers at what they perceive to be wrong without any self-critiquing at all. Which I find to be very uncool.
So, after 32 years from being in high school I have become comfortable with the fact that I enjoy doing my own thing, that there are actually others who enjoy similar things, but I can do them alone and to hell with everyone else. I mean no harm to anyone and if I am not “cool” then…well…I guess I’m not. But I’m happy. And I don’t owe that happiness to anyone else in some clique, group, assemblage of cool or otherwise.
Good for you P Jay. You sound a lot like me. I never was one for running with the crowd. That just made me feel like a sheep and being a sheep is precisely what I consider as the ultimate in un-cool. Doesn’t mean that I ostrasized myself from the crowd; it just meant that if I did do what the crowd was doing, I wanted it to be something I deliberately decided to do; not something where I just followed the herd. I’m in my mid 50′s now and am content with the way my life has played out.
I never tried to be cool in high school. The “non-conformists” all dressed alike, talked alike and did the same things. I was in ROTC in high school during the Vietnam War. You can’t be much more non-conformist than that. I graduated in 1975 and never looked back.
After graduation, I joined the Army. A few years later, I switched to the Air Force. After getting out and earning a degree, I went back in as an officer and served until 1992.
Good for you P Jay. I read your entire post and I have news for you. Rational is cool. You are very cool.
One of the most difficult things that a man can learn is that external validation is a need that can destroy you, if you crave it too much.
That’s what “being hip” is really all about. Actively seeking validation by others in some sort of social relationship that is very important at the time, but never gives a lasting benefit. External validation is the substance of Hollywood Screen Idols; without the validation of their adoring fans, they are just run of the mill junkies, sexual predators, and shallow buffoons. Its fashion, not princple. Its fluff, not real substance.
Everyone, at some time in their life, needs enough validation from the people who matter (to them) to understand that the track they are on is a good one, worthy of pride. After that, you have to validate yourself. You talk to that inner man, or maybe God, and you decide for yourself how cool you are.
Based on what you’ve written, you came to that conclusion early.
Women are being infantilized too. Often when shopping, I will see a clothing department at a distance that I assume is for little girls, that on closer inspection turns out to be women’s clothing.
Also, advertising aimed at senior citizens, in order to emphasize the youth giving properties of the product, will depict older women dressing and behaving like grade school children (literally). One commercial that comes to mind shows older women dressed in matching polka-dotted bathing suits and wearing bathing caps laying in a row around the edge of a swimming pool. It looks like they are playing a game that little girls would play when taking swimming lessons. (I can’t remember which product it was promoting.) It alway struck me a ridiculous.
For example, the Red Hat Ladies phenomenon.
Marc Malone: Now, girls become women, but boys wish to remain children forever. We are not just feminized; We are infantilized. When manhood is respected again, and thus, desired, most of our current problems will fade away.
That was easy. “We” are victims of this, that and the other thing. I don’t believe you believe this wrong answer.
The fault, dear Brutus, lies not in the stars, but in ourselves. You, Marc Malone, and I, each and every day, get to decide to be men. Whether you find any friends along the way, well, don’t hold your breath. Just do what needs to be done, and you will notice other men who are being men, and women will notice, and friendships will develop with the right sorts of people. Waiting for society to respect manhood is a strategy with little hope of success.
Not all girls become women. There are plenty of selfish women out there. Hopefully they’ll find the equally selfish men, and together they’ll annoy the shit out of each other. What I suspect is the selfish of each gender prey on the unselfish.
Uh, sorry, there are a lot of women who wish they were still kids. Noticed anything about this ‘Cougar’ phenom? My ex decided she just didn’t want to be a mom anymore at the age of ~40. Wanted to be a kid again. Thankfully she left the three kids with me. She does visit, when it’s convenient for her. Or if she wants to tell herself that somehow she’s still ‘being there for the kids.’ Probably would visit even less but I pay her some child support so she can at least go shopping with them or do activities, since she doesn’t want them in her home or to live with them.
I thought my situation was fairly unique but I keep running into more and more men in the same position as me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnUFVyt1dHQ
“what’s hip today, might become passe” i’ve been “hip” to this tune since 1971
Contemporary anything is so yesterday.
The tyranny of hip?
I’ve always called it the bigotry of cool.
If you worry that others don’t think you’re hip (or cool), then you aren’t. Why should you care about what they think anyway? Do what you think is right and don’t let them control you.
The way I see it, why should I concern myself with the opinions of people I don’t respect? Leftists hate me, some quite passionately. But then they are liars and fools. Their feelings are unimportant because they do not reflect an accurate assessment of reality.
The bigotry of cool has nothing to do with what is in the mind of the recipient of the bigotry. It has to do with shunning and gossip, which is harmful, especially in a school environment.
The bigotry of cool has nothing to do with what is in the mind of the recipient of the bigotry. It has to do with shunning and gossip, which is harmful, especially in a school environment.
I have to strongly disagree with your first sentence. Shunning and gossip have been parts of the school experience for generations. I doubt anything will end it. What’s important teaching our kids to not give a damn what the shunners and gossipers think. Once you refuse to give them that power over you, you’re far more powerful as an individual. Over the past few years, I’ve read too many stories about kids killing themselves because of what others said about them (often online).
I don’t see how it follows from that it has long been with us that it doesn’t do harm. In fact, you cite an example where harm was done, or do you suggest that the kids killing themselves because of what others say would have killed themselves anyway?
Do you deny that the “cool” kid surrounded by his minions and dictating the malicious “facts” about the “uncool” and suggesting shunning or bullying (the next step) is not a bigot?
I’m responsing to this sentence:
The bigotry of cool has nothing to do with what is in the mind of the recipient of the bigotry.
It has EVERYTHING to do with what is in the mind of the recipient of the bigotry. If you empower people to ignore the bigotry of the “cool”, then they can stand on their own two feet. Take away the bigot’s power over your thoughts and you win.
OK, so you agree that we are talking about bigotry, what I said in the first place.
But let’s take you and me out of the equation. What about others who cannot handle it so well as you and me, like those dead kids?
I agree that teaching kids to handle it will help, but maybe it’s not the whole answer. Excluding people can lead to the worst things that people do to people.
It goes back to teaching kids what I said at the top of this thread.
Why should you care about what they think anyway?
Instead of teaching kids that “everyone is special” and that “all opinions must be respected”, teach them to hold on to their beliefs. While it can seem like forever for a child, K-12 is just one phase of their lives and honestly, it isn’t all that important in the grand scheme of things. I sometimes say that the best thing I got out of high school was myself. I graduated 38 years ago and never went to a reunion and seldom give it a second thought. I feel very sorry for those people who honestly believe that high school is the best years of your life.
Kids should be taught not to be bigots too.
You’re overlooking the obvious – Single Mothers are Heroes! Who doesn’t want to be a hero? If your choices are rushing into a burning building to save a kitten or squirting out a kid, which is the easiest choice? Besides, you can only save the kitten once and you can play the “well, I’m a single mom” card for 18 years per kid. Think about all the TV interviews with a “Woman on the Street” you seen… how many included the “well, I’m a single mom” comment that only served to say “See! I’m special, I’m a Hero!”?
Winner!
I’m a single mom is also code for: some lousy man ran out and abandoned me and our children. People don’t connect it with: I’m a whore who has 7 babies daddies and I collect welfare as a living.
I’m pretty sure that’s intentional. People feel great pity for “widows with children” because no one chooses that life, and some sympathy for abandoned women because although foolish they didn’t intentionally create their situation. The term “single mother” was created to mislead people who want to help “widows with children” into helping women who create their own bad situations (the first baby with a deadbeat is a mistake; the fourth is deliberate).
Correct! Welfare was originally named to do exactly that, provide “Aid to DESERVING Widows”. Since few mothers worked outside the home in the 1930′s, the loss of the breadwinner was devestating, much as it was in 1st century Israel!
I have sung from the mountaintops for several decades that there are few, if ANY social problems in the US today that cannot be traced back to single women giving birth (and all that surrounds that event and suquels..)
This. If you get knocked up at 16, you’re heralded as “brave” and “strong” (interestingly, the same adjectives are bestowed upon girls who choose to kill the baby as those who choose to give birth and raise it fatherless). Schools and other agencies will bend over backwards to accommodate you, encourage you. If you’re a high school student who doesn’t get knocked up, you’re nothing special and no one cares.
I realize how close he was, but nice grouping.
Is it just me, or is this guy a little bit over the top?
It looks to me like insanity runs in the family.
It’s just you.
In the course of this video, Tommy Jordan never raises his voice, never insults or threatens his daughter (as she insulted both her parents), and never uses profanity except for one occurrence of “ass” (which he has since said he regrets). He shows an admirable level of self-control as he responds to his daughter’s offensive and rude public rant. Instead of descending to her level, he calmly explains how inaccurate, unreasonable, and foolish her outburst was, and why it’s appropriate for her to lose the laptop that she misused to slander her parents. Then he carefully destroys the laptop in a way that does not harm or endanger anyone, but will certainly leave a lasting impression in the minds of his daughter’s friends (who were the intended audience for her nasty public tantrum).
Calm, restrained, rational, and careful. That is the OPPOSITE of “over the top”. Your inability to tell the difference says a great deal about you.
The only thing “insane,” was not removing the $130.00 part he installed the day before…
Gushing sympathy and empathy, Dr. Phil denounces that he ‘shamed’ the daughter, I tend to think the girl is beyond shame…tough road ahead for the parents of this brat.
The drama queen gene is dominant for both of them. The apple did not fall far from the tree, but I respect diversity, sort of. Now a fanatical Muslim father would have…..gulp.
OK, Dwight. That hit the nail on the head! Good observation.
Scott Brooks:
Maybe there are just two of us. The daughter may be disrespectful, but the father is simply unhinged.
Having established my “Coming Apart” street cred by watching numerous episodes of the Fox TV show “Cops”, I can tell you that what the man did by emptying his gun into his daughter’s laptop and the related threats regarding the unseen effects of the hollow-point ammo all amount of violations of domestic violence statutes. You don’t have to batter a person; you can engage in the violent destruction of property so as to make a threat, and then its “Police-mahn come take you away. Bad boys, bad boys, what y’ gonna do when they come for you?”
Is the man identifiable from this video? It will be interesting to see how long he stays out of jail.
We had a kid who at age 12, received a computer in the 90′s that set us back $2400.00. Yep. $2400.00.
Know how he thanked us? Snarling that he was deprived/neglected/unloved because we didn’t pop for a new one a few months later, when computers came out with twice the features of his.
I understand exactly this father’s hurt, insult and frustration, and the family should see a counselor; if only to be advised that a hammer would have achieved the same result, and saved him the 8 bucks for the bullets. (wink)
Please cite the specific statute law or otherwise that the father broke. He did not threaten anyone, did not shoot at anything but a target, probably on his own land, which whether you care to understand this or not, is legal in most states, if you’re outside of city limits, generally.
In your mind, I’m sure you think dad is “just mean”. Well, parenting has also been remanded to the state in many ways. By the way, he didn’t beat his kid, threaten his kid, or otherwise mistreat the kid. Technically, the laptop is his property since he bought and paid for it. Or were you not aware of that? As far as I know, there’s no law against destroying your own property.
Of course, I figure you think that kids have “rights” in the house they live in. Yup, the right to be home when told to be, the right to eat what’s put in front of you, the right to behave and not treat the parents like crap. Chances are the daughter’s friends have very liberal parents who don’t see acting this way as a problem, or cannot deal with it or a combination of both. I’ve heard parents actually say, “what can a parent do?” As if they are helpless.
Parents cannot be friends to their kids, except by guiding them on principles, rules and what really is fair, not what people like you think is “fair”.
Well said. The tyranny of cool has destroyed our culture. Very few summer or Christmas season movies to look forward to. Toilet humor rules both the cinema and the airwaves. The sitcom is no more. Exaggeration beyond being funny, recycling of old jokes or poop jokes is the norm. From personal experience I can tell you that the ultimate weapon against someone is “Dude, that’s not cool.” -no further elaboration needed. I remember my father at my age (40). Not a hip guy. He didn’t have this to say about pop culture of the 80s. Nor the 90s or earlier last decade before he died. Generation X and the Millenials aren’t hip. They’re empty. They’re lazy. They’re boring. They’re bland. They’re the ultimate fail.
in eastern cultures, the elders are revered…in western cultures, they are reviled. too much self loathing brought on by the incessant drum beat of the media piped through our devices…we must break away from the snare of mindless meandering and start rebuilding our culture
in eastern cultures, the elders are revered…in western cultures, they are reviled. too much self loathing brought on by the incessant drum beat of the media piped through our devices…we must break away from the snare of mindless meandering and start rebuilding our culture. i’d much rather be thought of as wise than hip.
It long ago occurred to me that emulating the outward manifestations of hip is as relatively easy as it is pointless. I noted that one thing separated those who were truly both hip and successful from the unwashed wannabe-hip masses. I found that it also applied to the whole youthful rebellion and social defiance thing that exerted such a strong influence over me while I was in the process of growing up:
In life, you have to be able to afford your eccentricities.
Hipness, as a form of social exceptionality, tempts a comparison with wearing a “kick me” sign. Those who caricature social exceptionality invite serial swift kicks from an establishment upon which they are hopelessly dependent but from which they also seek to stand apart. It all means jack when they merely suffer through the expression of an illusory hipness.
I observed and came to understand that the truly hip had established for themselves the means to define hipness through a relative social autonomy, unsubordinated to the tyrannical judgment of wannaba hipsters or backlashed by crippling dependence on others. Standing outside the system means little if one isn’t standing above the system.
Of course, the emancipating relative social autonomy that is necessary for one to be able to afford one’s eccentricities involves none other than adherence to a constructive moral code, development of human capital, principled behavior, accumulation of resources, and the responsible exercise of the freedoms thus acquired. In other words, the unhip system works.
My cynical answer is that the poor and inept can be sold more cheap stuff.
Who will you peddle abortions to? Not the married having children, but to those who have bought into the glamorized “self-pleasure above all” mind set.
If the masses are being sold a dysfunctional bill of goods, it is a safe bet that someone has figured out how to make a dime off of it.
Modeling behavior is something of a crapshoot in a culture where the standards themselves are under assault every day.
Any generation’s version of hip is tough to penetrate since, reinforced by the peer group, they know everything.
After you’ve lived through a few cycles of what constitutes hip for any given generation, they all start to look sad, conformist & highly unoriginal.
Hippies were (and Occupiers are) huge conformists.
The relatively universal prosperity of the 20th century caused us to forget Murray’s insistence that we become discriminatory towards anti-social behavior. That century was much more monolithic in habits and prosperity so that outliers could be readily supported by the safety nets. Yet his clarion is ancient. Social arrangments have always been healthy that stigmatized behavior that was non-contributing to or parasitic of the society. There is nothing that prevents us from returning to the days when the punishment for bad behavior comes from nature, which means death. Stigmatization is actually a social benefit as it steers people away from the natural consequences. Also back in the day, to which we are not immune to returning, the contributions of individuals was essential to community survival. Stigmatizing bad behavior kept future incidents that were detrimental to the society to a minimum. Today we suffer economically, in social harmony and the loss of peaceable travel. They’re substitues for natural selection. But they’re not insurance against a return to it.
As much as Conservatives want to blame the left for the collapse of the white middle class it just isn’t so. It is the spread of the neo-Libertarian philosophy of the autonomous individual that bears the responsibility. While I have in past jokingly referred to today’s libertarians as being inspired by those 60′s counterculture types who read Ayn Rand and realized that the market provides better drugs, sex and rock ‘n roll than socialism, there is a more serious side to this phenomenon.
Neo-libertarians are primarily focused issues of social autonomy and while the free market is central in their political and economic philosophy it generally plays a secondary role. Social issues [and the gold standard] reign supreme in the pantheon of the libertarian mind. Take gay marriage for example. It has become the majority view not because the gay-left has convinced the majority; instead it is the libertarian critique of the state’s role in defining marriage. Their argument follows from the concept of personal autonomy and not some concept of fairness or morality. You can go through any list of personal autonomy issues you chose and make the same point.
The concept of personal autonomy reinforces the leftist disregard for personal responsibility. Libertarians play tails to the left’s heads on coin of life and we all lose no matter which side of the coin turns up.
Take gay marriage for example. It has become the majority view not because the gay-left has convinced the majority; instead it is the libertarian critique of the state’s role in defining marriage.
I didn’t know gay marriage had become the majority view.
California, chock full of liberals and libertarians, voted for amending the state Constitution to define marriage as between an X and a Y.
Although such an amendment seems stupid to me and doesn’t belong in the purview of government, nevertheless it was the expressed will of the people.
That vote was recently struck down by a gay judge of the 9th circuit and another judge on the 3 judge panel, in a 2-1 vote.
Which ruling is ghastly.
Ayn Rand’s pro-capitalism arguments are way deeper than what the market does or doesn’t provide to the consumer.
The latest public opinion poll show public support for gay marriage is in the majority. Roger Simon will support this assertion.
The poll in Maine showed gay marriage passing. It didn’t. I think the same thing was true of the Cali vote.
Good ole Wikipedia…
…the passage of Proposition 8, an amendment to the California Constitution that limited marriages to those between one man and one woman (November 5,2008)
As of June 2011, 12 states prohibit same-sex marriage via statute and 29 via the state’s constitution.
I think you’ve confused ‘libertarian’ with ‘libertine’.
Today’s libertarians are libertines.
Personal autonomy is meaningless as long as there is a safety net propped up by government.
If the libertarians want to legalize drugs and take other steps toward endorsing personal autonomy, they need to demand the simultaneous elimination of the “safety net.”
Actually, I’m as unhip as its possible to become. I AM the guy yelling at the kids to get off the lawn. The movie out where kids have a huge party and put the car in the pool and burn down the house? I’m rooting for the cops to show up with stun guns. However, “No critic who values his relevance wants to point out that Bridesmaids soiling themselves while in wedding regalia is not really funny”……that scene was pretty funny. I guess I am hip after all.
Every generation has to reinvent the wheel. With this generation the wheels
are coming off the cart. This is our lost generation. Economic recovery from
the Obama regime will take at least one generation. Reelection will cause complete and utter collapse.
The article’s proposed solution is crypto fascist. Instead, we should ration marriage. Well-to-do educated people should not be permitted to marry disproportionately to others lest they gain an unfair advantage.
We can consider the above as a moderate solution, waiting to see if we need to take the more drastic step of forcibly pairing well-to-do educated people with those less advantaged.
By golly, we can make this society equal even if we destroy it trying.
Well, there’s a lot to be said for reaching down and snagging some white trash girl who knows what goes where and why.
A very long time ago, I think it was back in the late 40′s or early 50′s, the sociologist David Reisman pointed out that a sea change had occurred in the character of successful mainstream Americans: they had gone from being inner-directed to being outer-directed. They no longer had core convictions that were impervious to the winds of fashion. Quite the contrary they were now constantly on the qui vive for signals from the culture. Essentially the second half of the twentieth century and the first decade of the twenty first has been the working through of the disappearance of the inner directed and their almost total replacement by those who believe in what is au courant or dominant in the culture, no more no less. To call for those whose very essence is keeping up with hipness to uphold the square is an exercise in futility. Sorry to be such a downer but the fact is the string is going to have to be played out completely, i.e. economic and societal collapse, before there will be a ghost of a chance for rebuilding.
“Sacha Baron Cohen mocking ordinary people for their non-ironic faith, manners or dedication can be at once hilarious and morally wrong — like laughing at a slapstick accident that leaves someone dead.”
I find this most disgusting. I may not agree with religious people, but I don’t make fun of them, let alone mock them for their faith. But if you notice that is what the mainstream media DOES these days along with the help of Hollywood.
You see, they do NOT think religion is “cool,” they ridicule people of any faith (unless they are Muslim then, hey, back off), and they tout that anyone that has the temerity to believe in the teachings of the Catholic Church are medieval white men who only want to chain women to stoves and cribs. You see, that’s what the statists, the socialists, the communists, and the far left do. They mock religion, denigrate religion (especially to young people), and then say that anybody who dares to believe in religion belongs back in the 14th century. Once young people accept that, then it becomes much, much, easier for the Federal Government to do whatever it wants AGAINST any religion, just like the Obama administration just did against the Catholic Church. After all, who still believes in those repressed white guys all dressed in black, right? They are the ones that want to keep you in the 14th century, right? They are those sick jerks who want to take contraception away from you women so that you can have sex until you drop (or have a kid out of wedlock), right? Once the groundwork is laid with young people that all of this “religious stuff” is nonsense, and since there are few parents around to tell them otherwise, it makes it a lot easier for the government to make you lose your freedom of religion. Because, in the end, who really cares about that “stuff,” right? Certainly not the “cool” people, let alone all those young unwed mothers.
The Left is all about tearing down any remaining structures, any version of societal norms.
Which destruction is vital to their success.
It was as true for Billy Ayers in the 60′s and 70′s as it is for today’s crowd. Billy’s mission was all about destroying that nasty bourgeoisie.
(It is ironic that Billy today, in his 60′s, lives as bourgeois as they come)
Our hypocritical president is transparently torn between expressing his “Christian beliefs” and serving his greater master, the destruction of the status quo, in service to erecting the completely socialist state.
… and then say that anybody who dares to believe in religion belongs back in the 14th century.
All as part of their effort to impose their Cult of Human Omniscience (the driving force behind Progressive ideology) as the One True Faith, in faith far more blind than mine in my God.
They are fundamentalist zealots, that make the late Rev. Jerry Fawell look like a ‘Nawlins libertine during Mardi Gras by comparison when it comes to jamming one’s faith and morality down our throats.
And their self-image is so wrapped up in that blind faith, they refuse to acknowledge that anyone outside their faith might actually have a better grasp on even some of the truth than they do … and they try and make sure things stay that way, by directing their fundamentalist zeal towards discrediting/silencing/destroying such voices … at the expense of their own enlightenment.
Again and again, they become the poster children for Romans 1:22.
They are fundamentalist zealots…jamming one’s faith and morality down our throats.
Atheists, individuals whose life mission it is to decry religious belief, worshipers at the altar of global warming, all of them, zealots beyond zealots.
They make your average run of the mill Zealot blush.
Yeah. It’s a hoot to see the New York Times racing to somewhat distance itself from former positions, and come out weakly in favor of responsible, self respecting behavior. Who told these people to flee from the wrath to come?
What young? Who’s having kids? The Left isn’t. They’re killing them as fast as possible.
But for those on the Right who are having kids: who’s teaching them while you both work and slave for the other 50% you support?
Joke’s on us.
Me.
The hip youth are showing their individuality when they were funky hair styles like the Mohawk.
1970.
” ” . 1980
” ” . 1990.
” ” . [insert current year].
I wish I had taken my mom’s good advice. She told her obstinate and dysfunctional son once who would not listen, “You should make friends with the nerds with good parents you mock. They’ll make something of themselves. These kids you hang with won’t.”
When I was a kid (late 60s and early 70s), we tended to gather at the cool parent’s house. The parents that let us smoke cigarettes and drink from their stash. Who turned a blind eye, as the cool parents smoked a little weed in the evening, accompanied by liquor bashes of their own every weekend. We were invited, of course. Many of the fathers had nice porno stash – almost prudish by today’s internet standards. Man, it was titillating then.
And boy, was I stupid.
Recently, I’ve started attending some of my high school reunions (20th, 25th, 30th), and being parents and some grandparents ourselves, you have time to reflect. I will tell you to a person, the kids with “cool parents” are abject disasters. Some of them are dead, the parents long ago forgotten as hip, as we now whisper amongst ourselves with definition of “losers and fools” to describe.
I have suffered the consequences as an adult of rejecting authority, as my most prized characteristic growing up to be cool and be liked. I have played catch up my entire adult life, my formative years an abject disaster. I live with great regret of what could have been.
But by the grace of God, I married one of those uncool and prudish women, one who did listen to her godly parents. Our children are so much better for it. The results couldn’t be more obvious.
If I could give all kids any gift, it would be two loving parents male and female, rich or poor does not matter, who are grounded in both spirit and wisdom of God, and family, and uncool friends.
Well said. Similar story. Youth is truly “wasted on the young.” It’s amazing how smart our parents get as we grow up.
Well said. Similar story. As teenagers, we set for ourselves a low standard of adult behavior, following the example of cool parents. We didn’t (couldn’t) recognize that this standard wouldn’t serve to protect our wealth or the freedom they (and we) were abusing. My husband and I loved your last sentence and agree with all our hearts.
The tyranny of hip is enforced by women. Notice how the characteristics of a “cool guy” closely matches that of an Alpha Thug Male instead of a Beta Male Provider.
So true. Harking back to HeatherRadish’s earlier comment (8:13) I’ll add that females not men were behind the substitution of “single mother” for “unwed mother”, “divorced mother”, and “widowed mother”. And yes, the intent was to (a) hide the fact that one of those is not like the other two and (b) filch the sympathy accorded to the deserving and give it to the undeserving.
Many of the divorced mothers aren’t exactly deserving either, especially the ones who left a perfectly good husband in order to “find themselves” or because they were bored or because they stupidly thought that somebody “better” was coming along.
Well, most of us who married in the ’70s girls of the ’60s figure out pretty quickly that “I need some space” really meant “I didn’t try on enough d**ks back before I married you.” ‘Course, I take comfort in the fact that Wife v.2.0 is a Helluva lot younger and prettier than Wife v. 1.0.
Actually you don’t mention it, not because it is uncool, but because when you live like that you tend to be non-coercive: if people are interested you tell them, if not then not. It’s called leading by example, everything is just gas.
Further, you believe in individual responsibility and also understand that ‘rescue fantasies’ result not in help but enabling. With that comes a much darker truth.
If these people putting burdens on others and society as a whole, why should they be helped? Why should the government be an enabler? Once a critical point is reached, there will be no more help, believing that they are not oppressed but getting their just deserts, good and hard.
Me, I grew up with such things…
Leave the illegitament and illiterate alone.
After all a vibrant liberal society needs pimps and hookers too.
Besides if there was no underclass who would the Progressives feel superior too?
This is all a result of reducing the role of a republic style government in the US. Allowing the masses to vote for just about anything is resulting in a race to the bottom. Studies done (Google “Harvard women vote government size”) show that as people without a large stake in responsible government vote, or in the case of women: want a large government, we see society breakdown. The state is performing roles that should be performed by the father and/or extended family.
There is no more social shame in having children out of wedlock. We have welfare, abortion, food stamps. Women are no longer shamed for being irresponsible, and are no lauded and empowered for getting plowed by the local bad boys. If the women have a job they’ll pass them off to a nanny or day care to raise. Mostly, the rest of us will pick up the tab. Of course she isn’t to blame, you know – its always the fault of the dead beat dad… A guy with no education or job that will be tossed into debtors prison. And so the cycle continues.
And then there is no-fault divorce where one party (usually the woman) bails at the first sign of trouble. Unless taught in the family, marriage is thought of as a big expensive over the top party. The caustic media does not promote the actual importance of being a good spouse.
People fail to have large families and expect the taxpayers to care for them into old age. Wait until we see the looming collapse of entitlements. There aren’t enough young people to support the massive state handouts. The burden placed on responsible and productive citizens, who work hard, save and look after themselves – will grow as the bleeding hearts want them to pay more taxes aka, their “fair share”.
We can not continue to subsidize bad decisions and behavior. Unless and until we can shame those that choose poorly and act with disregard for common sense, we will continue to decline as a nation. Citizens need to hold the government to the smallest possible size, and citizens need to come down hard on adults that fail to take responsibility for their mistakes.
Ooh, looks like you read Humanae Vitae, too. Pretty interesting that the Dead White Guy predicted this 44 years ago, eh?
I dubbed it “the Hip-ocracy” years ago, only to be mocked.
Who’s laughing now, Jeff?
“No one wants to turn into the old man waving his cane from the porch rocking chair shouting….”
Why not?
It is very liberating to not care one bit what anyone thinks of you.
The ultimate in cool is to buck “The Establishment”. Since “The Establishment” is now overwhelmingly leftist liberal fell-goodism, what better expression of disdain and contempt and rebellion than to act and be conservative? And to do so unabashadly and unapologetically is the most ‘cool’.
and to use good grammar…..Sheesh.
Liberals can’t have rational thinking or acting; need for everyone to follow their lusts; that is nirvana, utopia, happiness. What used to be called religion is progressiveness; Heaven is now irresponsibility. Why work? Why be responsible? Why be civil? Why? The government will take care of you as long as you don’t question from where the money will come. Don’t question, like religion just believe in Obama. We’ll all be fine, until we’re not. Greece is (was) a great place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there. Well the Progressives are bringing Greece here. See no bother.
Sustainable Spending is the answer.
Cool becomes a good thing once you realize what Cool is. Briefly, Cool is whatever I am doing, wearing, watching, or thinking at any given time. I define Cool. I do not follow trends; I start them, although without noticing myself doing so.
Want to be Cool? Easy: just be like me.
Or don’t. I don’t care either way.
Clearly Islam is a religion which attacks many of these problems head-on. Maybe Sharia Law is getting a bad rap.
Even more clearly, Islam is a religion which attacks these problems head-off!
with old age comes wisdom.
wisdom promotes understanding.
understanding is cool.
understanding promotes peace.
peace is cool.
peace promotes old age.
therefore, old age is cool.
Not wanting to appear unhip or uncool is similar to peer pressure. It persists in many people well into adulthood, like an extended adolescence.
One minor point: Charles Murray isn’t a “conservative sociologist”. He’s a libertarian. He wrote a book called “What It Means To Be A Libertarian.” Great book.
Both left and right interpretations are wrong, IMO. Everyone is mixing up causation and correlation. People who are successful at work and school have certain attitudes and intelligence, which makes more likely to be successful in marriage.
The unsuccessful will always be with us.
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I read Murrays article in the Wall Street Journal and agree with much of what he says. However, I really have to question if the people on top all really more religious. Thats not my own pertsonal observation from the people I meet.
As for adults being tyranized by the culture of the “hip” I would say that all of us never outgronw high school. We all want to be a part of the group. I remeber once talking with an aquaintence once who is a “liberal” college teacher. He was shocked that I disgreeed with him about something (it was something liberals hold dear, I forgot what it was) . My response was, “Look thats what I think, it doesn’t matter anyway since if I have no desire to join your elite little club!”
I am a pensioner who has gone back to college. I am far more knowledgable than my fellow students, I am always better prepaired, I have far better background, and I am much better at interpreting facts than they are. Why on earth should I care if those kids don’t think that I’m cool?
In this context I am much better than they are.
Agree about the tyranny of hip (and the media).
I just hope the girl doesn’t find her father’s .45 some day (or buy one with her own money) and turn it on him. Wouldn’t be the first time that happened.
This clip has been playing on my mind over the last couple of days. The only word I can find to describe the father’s act is — unmanly. I am just disgusted that so many on this blog have condoned it.
Twice in the last seven years I blogged in exasperation about what Seinfeld wonderfully dubbed “hipster doofism.” If you want to annoy a babyboomer express a desire for a post-hip, post-cool world. I’ve done this on a number of occasions and am no longer surprised at the hostile response. Case in point. A babyboomer freelance writer went on an one about free tickets and concerts for sixties and seventies bands. I mentioned that I had tickets in the 90s for one of these bands (whose cd’s I still listen to) but that I went to the door of the large New York club and turned around. Time to move one. I didn’t say it, but he — and his friends — got the point. And didn’t like it.
That post-cool world is liberating. You can enjoy what is still good and what you have yet to discover (especially jazz and classical, but other highly achieved culture as well). As we may now discover with ease, there is a whole world of the old and good as well as the new and occasionally ambitious. But as others above point out, we are prisoners of cool. It is not mistake that our coolest president is also our most oppressive.
re: <i?"…society’s unfair privileging of the marriage state….
The obvious solution: Mandated marriage. The relevant government office will assign prtners to those unable to find their own. The commerce clause clearly envisions this.
“If marriage and religion give smart people joy and improve their living standards, why don’t they spread the word?”
The author must be unaware of European culture where religion has virtually disapeared and marriage is fading fast. The affluent younger generation are leading this trend.